As an Introvert…Closed Doors. But at home…Open Doors #MFRWAuthors

For the #MFRWAuthor 52-Week Blog hop, this week, week 33, we are talking my preference for open or closed doors!

I am probably contrary to most everyone in every way.  When it comes to the outside, I prefer a closed door.  Shutting other’s out while being closeted in my own space with my own things, doing what I love to do without the outside world intruding.  But when I’m at home, I prefer open doors.  Except for the closet doors, the place I live in is wide open and transparent.  Again, being in my own world.
The funny thing about me is that while I can be a social person, chatting and getting to know people as much as the next person, I…and I am being completely honest here, I prefer not to.  I am what you would consider an introvert, and I don’t really crave the social interaction that most people do.  Whenever someone tells me that humans are social animals, I do believe to some extent we are, but I believe that it depends on that interaction.  I can talk for hours on the web with other writers, I chat with other readers to get their book recommendations, but I would never join a physical book club or writers group because I am a person that, and it should come as no surprise, prefers to think about what I want to say before I say or write it.
The one person I love talking to is my husband.  After almost 21 years together, he makes me laugh like no other person in the world and I’m happy whenever we are together.  I felt comfortable with him from the moment we met, and he knows all about my hang-ups when it comes to other people.  It’s even so bad that if the phone rings and he’s at home, I won’t even look at it.  Even if he’s busy, I won’t pick it up.  I figure whoever it is will leave a message because the only person I want to talk to is already home.
I do go out, usually to walk my dog or take my dog swimming, but if it isn’t necessary, I don’t.  I don’t even go shopping much anymore.  My husband and I discovered a meal kit service, Home Chef, and because of this, we don’t have to go grocery shopping, unless it’s to pick up a few things.  But with Amazon Pantry and Sprouts deliveries, I might not ever have to leave the house again.  Just kidding.  Maybe.
It’s not something that started as I grew older.  In high school, I loved free periods where I could go into the back of the library with a book and ignore the world while I got lost in the words I read.  You would have to drag me or bribe me to do anything that would be considered social.  And the older I get the more I appreciate being able to close myself off from the world and create the stories that might have someone else lose themselves in my fictional worlds, somewhere they are comfortable and protected.
In other words, I love open doors when I’m at home and with my husband and our dog, Maddie.  Nothing is between us and we share everything together.  But with the world outside, I prefer to live my own life and like to keep the world out of my small sanctuary.
Thank you for stopping by and I hope you have a great weekend!!





  1. Sherry Lewis - August 25, 2017 @ 6:08 am

    I totally understand where you’re coming from. Although I may crave a bit more social interaction than you do, I’m very much the same. No open door policy to the world at my house 🙂 I can reach a point where I’ve had too much isolation, but I always need to hurry back home to recuperate after I do go out. But my kids and grandkids…open doors all the way!

    • Valerie Ullmer - August 25, 2017 @ 8:18 am

      I’m glad I’m not alone, Sherry. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Robin Michaela - August 25, 2017 @ 1:10 pm

    You sound exactly like my husband – he’s also an introvert. He and I had an instant connection and our friends who introduced us were shocked that we spent so much time talking on our first date (he was comfortable, I guess). The older I get, the more I enjoy the home sanctuary, too, though. I enjoyed your post!

  3. Alina K. Field - August 25, 2017 @ 5:35 pm

    I’m an introvert also. I do force myself to get out and about to RWA activities and my Toastmasters’ Club, but those interactions exhaust me!

  4. Linda McLaughlin - August 25, 2017 @ 5:50 pm

    I appreciate a little isolation, too. I didn’t get enough of it this week, so I’m looking forward to a very quiet weekend.

  5. Ed Hoornaert - August 25, 2017 @ 10:11 pm

    Compared to some writers I’m rather outgoing, yet I’m enough of an introvert to understand how you feel. Go for it, Valerie!

  6. Maureen Bonatch - August 26, 2017 @ 7:34 am

    I love your take on this week’s topic! The best gift for me is a day where I have no where I have to go.

  7. Meka James - August 26, 2017 @ 8:26 am

    My husband is the social of of the two of us. If I HAVE to talk to people in a social situation I will. People actually seem to like to talk to me. At my job my boss often comments on how much the clients love me, but I really rather they go watch the show instead of trying to hang out and talk to me.

    I’m so not into talking if I don’t have to that there are times I’m annoyed with even my husband when he tries to have a conversation. That could be because he normally attempts this while I’m mid sentence or something, but eh…you get the point. I like silence in the way I rather not hear anyone’s voice unless it’s music. LOL

  8. Cathy Brockman - August 27, 2017 @ 7:08 am

    I totally agree! I too am introvert and like a door between me and the world

    • Valerie Ullmer - August 28, 2017 @ 8:18 am

      I’m glad it’s not just me. Thanks for stopping by, Cathy!

  9. Kenzie Michaels - August 28, 2017 @ 8:29 am

    OMG….I was also the *weird* one who LOVED what is now called Silent Sustained Reading (SSR) in schools. Any free moment I had, I’d whip out a book.

    I also never mastered the art of small talk. If I’m in a social setting with strangers, I’m literally tongue-tied….unless someone more outgoing pulls me into a conversation. I just cannot start one.

    @Meka: I also dislike unnecessary conversations. Hubby was going off into one of his many dull ‘let’s-rehash-what-went-wrong’ stories and got mad at me when I tried to speed up the story so I could get back to what I was doing. I try not to repeat stories and have no issue with him trying to speed it up, but it sometimes drives me NUTS when he just wants to sit there and rehash something that happened twenty years ago and is NOT relevant today!

    I’m also much better on the web than in person at times….I also like the ‘think before you respond’ aspect.

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